3 Mar, a jarring conversation with Feliz
I just had a jarring conversation with Feliz, the great'grandmother and matron of the house. When I came in she was roasting cocoa beans to make chocolate to sell at the Semana Santa next week. She accepted my offer to help shell the beans after roasting. I tried my best to converse with her in my still pretty rough Spanish. She told me (I think) that her son Manuel, who lives in the house too, had been to Canada several times to attend Mayan studies, which surprised me - Mayan studies in Canada? Amongst lots of conversation I couldn´t quite understand, she told me there were many indigenous persons in Canada, and asked if I knew any. I said that as a kid I knew some, but now in Toronto I don´t know any. This really upset her, and I believe she began scolding me for not knowing any indigenous people, then for not knowing the indigenous history of Guatemala, and asking me where my necklace came from (which looks like it might be an indigenous craft and is from Thailand). I felt like I had a big rock sitting in the bottom of my stomach as I gradually realized she must think I´m either a redneck racist or completely ignorant of the existence of indigenous peoples, and I couldn´t explain myself. At one point while asking what I knew of Mayan history she asked if I had been sleeping at school, because they have conferences and trips regarding the Maya. I told her of the Maya-related activities I´d attended so far and that I was reading "I... Rigoberta Menchu." I also tried saying that where I live is expensive and most indigenous peoples in Canada are poor, which I´m sure in hindsight didn´t help. She informed me that indigenous persons in Canada have plenty of money without having to work because of casinos. Thoughts of moving soon flashed in my head. Finally her son, Manuel, in his 50´s, came into the room and to my rescue. She told him that I didn´t know any indigenous people in Canada, and he said that´s normal in Canada because the indigenous people live on reservations, far away from the city where I live. He gave an example of somewhere in Guatemala with no indigenous persons, and amidst much nodding of comprehension, within 30 seconds she was happy and smiling again, and thanking me repeatedly for helping her with the beans. Of course the situation for indigenous peoples in Canada is somewhat more complicated in Canada, but I just wanted to keep my mouth shut now that Feliz no longer seemed angry with me. Whew. Later I ate almost a whole fancy chocolate bar brought from Canada in bed, after having brushed my teeth, to help me feel better. I had originally brought it as a gift, but a gift of chocolate seemed kind of pointless now anyways. That was the furthest I can remember being outside of my comfort zone for a long time, and something I haven´t finished processing yet.
posted by vonLevi | 4:18 p.m.
10 Comments:
Hi Levi
Wow. That's quite the story. Some say we're always bound to be misunderstood. This is intensified within your current context because of language and cultural barriers! It's great that you're so open to learning and reflecting on these experiences. That's the whole point, eh? Your intentions are good, and your heart is open. I think that's all you can ask of yourself. (And I think that's all others can expect of you!) Glad you had a little comfort on hand. :) Wish I could have been there. Thinking of you.
Love
Lauren
Boy Levi, Lucky for you that Feliz wasn't on your thesis defence committee! I bet that in your old age this will go down as one of the great moments in learning. Also a good example of what it means to be in the wrong place at the right time.
We were reflecting about when Mom worked in bilingual education and when we worked through V.I.S.T.A. in California and Alaska with various minority groups, indigenous and otherwise. The episode you describe happened on occasion then too. I think its about a lot of pent up emotion and a ready opportunity for release. I'm sure you won't take it personally. Good job on the chocolate!
It's hard to warm up to just who it is that we represent for so many people in the world.
I get carried away Levi. Probably just a simple misunderstanding, what you mentioned. In fact I bet they are very happy to have you, the great nana not withstanding.
You better not let her know what's going on here on the old blog though, or you might not get out with your knickers intact.
Much Love, Dad
Wow!! Quetzaltenago sounds like quite an interseting city with 60% of its 150 000 inhabitants being indiginous!
Feliz reminds me of my grandmother. If Feliz is anything like her I'm sure she's just testing you and you'll be like a grandson to her in no time. Obviously her herritage is very important to her and it will be a great learning opportunity for you (that is if you don't mind being put in your place!!)
Love, Debbie
hey Levi,
ah yes, the wonderful experience of sputtering frustration as trying to defend oneself from (often true) conceptions of Canadian ignorance and privilege in a language not your own -- the painful joys of travel to countries of the "South". I think I can point to at least one such experience in every country I've travelled to that is "poorer" than Canada. Sounds like you survived it with as much dignity as possible, and I agree with one of the other bloggers here, Feliz was probably giving you a hard time not because she thinks you're a bad person, but because she likes you and is trying to understand you.
As for her son studying Mayan cultures in Canada -- I know that there have been exchanges between Mayan cultural groups and the First Nations University in Saskatchewan -- perhaps that is what she is referring to?
Proud to say I was there when you bought that chocolate that proved so comforting. I recall sitting in my bed eating chocolate for comfort at certain points in my trip, too (I didn't mention that when we bought it, but it did cross my mind that it might serve you better as comfort than as gift).
Levi,
Before my first trip to Central America, as part of
a Solidarity Bridgade to Nicaragua my group went through three months of cultural and political sensitivity training. Despite that we managed to put embarass ourselves several times. Guatemala is very special place made twice as complicated for 'Gente del Norte' by its indigenous past and present. I am very glad you're going through this experience.
You will learn so much and I think you will be
a far better person for it than you already are.
Que te vaya bien, hermano.
Deep thanks to everyone for your responses. It´s really nice. Things have smoothed over greatly with Feliz since then. I helped her again shelling cocoa beans, and in a race she won my camarita from me but was kind enough to give it back. (we weighed in the end and she had shelled twice as many as me).
One interesting thing about that incident is that it wasn´t exactly a misunderstanding, in that I understood her fairly simple question and she understood my answer. It really points out one big difference in the situations of indigenous peoples here and in Canada. I realized that I´m not used to talking about indigenous peoples and it was uncomfortable for me just talking about their situation in Canada at such length. Manuel´s explanation to Feliz in my defence helped me out individually, but didn´t exactly clear my conscience.
Hey levi,
I don't know that you should feel guilty about not knowing any Indigenous folks in Toronto (to be honest I think I only know one person who's family goes back more than 3 generation... most of Toronto is first, second or third generation immagrants). Just in terms of population percentage (of T.O.) the indegenous population is very small. Now if you lived in a smaller town, near a relatively large indigenous population (e.g.say thunder bay area)... and you still didn't know any, then maybe you have something to think about. I think as a whole, we canadians don't know much about the natives folks here.
Levi,
Hola! Thank you for posting this travel blog. Your parents recently sent me the address for it. Great to hear about your travels in Guatemala. I've got friends in Mpls/St. Paul that have a Guatemala store. They go every year to Guatemala and buy clothes and jewelry. I have planned to go to Central America myself for a long time, but haven't been able to do it yet. Maybe you could be my guide one of these fine years.
Have you seen a movie called THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES? Its in Spanish with English subtitles. Its about the young Che Guevera. A true story of when he's 23 and takes a motorcycle trip with his compadre through Chile and Peru . He's training to be a doctor, but he regrets that he doesn't know his own people and their history. They end up going to Machu Pichu and connecting with the heart of the indigenous experience. Of course, Che ended up being a doctor and a revolutionary voice for the people in Cuba and the western hemishere.
Being raised and schooled in Minnesota, USA, I was surrounded by the history and in the proximity of reservation communities of Lakota/Dakota Sioux and Ojibway people. And yet, I remained isolated and ignorant of much of their past and present culture.
Our society is a separatist one in many respects. You can talk about South Africa or Selma, Alabama, Toronto, or 100 Mile House, BC. We're not exposed to the depth and the gifts of the Aboriginal presence unless we seek it out.
In 1980, attended the Survival Gathering in Rapid City, South Dakota when I was 29 years old. I had a cultural awakening, moved to Canada and lived and worked with Native people as a visible minority for the next 12 years.
I'm still learning today about my responsibity in bridging two cultures. As you know, my wife, Gina, is Shuswap/Cree and our children are a living bridge.
Your ability to remain conscious and keep your conscience in difficult circumstances is amazing. Keep on seeking.
Marty in British Columbia
Marty, it is quite incredible to hear from you over this medium after so many years since we last visited. How many has it been - 10, 15, or more? Thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts. Great to hear from you.
ps. i have seen the motorcycle diaries, twice. excellent movie. i would like to see it again after my 3 months here, to see how much of the spanish i can understand.
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